"We can still be friends."

"We can still be friends." These are 5 words no one in a relationship looks forward to hearing. But for some reason we have all said of heard this sentence. And if you haven't, you definitely know what it means.

This weekend my roommate began having serious relationship trouble. Everyone around her knew what was soon to come... The break up talk. This would be a talk filled with sugar coated phrases intended to let her down easy, and break the news that the relationship was over.

Ill give you a little bit of background on the relationship before I tell how is all came crashing down. The two of them had been friends for a while, having similar classes and participating in the same organizations. After Christmas break they decided to take their friendship to "the next level." She could not have been happier. But I knew the whole time he was not ready or fully commited. You see he had recently got out of a 6 year relationship, and was no where near ready to jump into a new one. The lack of commitment became more than obvious this past weekend when his crazy ex-girlfriend came in town. As soon as the ex entered into the Oxford city limits the communication between my roomie and her not so great boyfriend came to a hault. They did not speak to one another for three days, which was extremely odd since they are both text message machines.

On Monday, to her surprise she ran into him on campus and needless to say it was awkward. As she walked past him he did not even acknowledge her. Knowing he was not going to say anything, my friend took matters in her own hands. She approached her so called boyfriend, calm, cool, and collected and said the infamous words "we need to talk." They made plans despite the awkwardness to meet later that night and discuss the weekends events. Immediately after running into him, my friend raced back to our room and began to brainstorm. This is where boys and girls differ. She pulled out a sheet of paper and began to write down everything she intended to say to him at "the talk." She had many questions that needed to be answered in order to get closer out of this ending relationship. He on the other hand did nothing to prepare himself for this talk and even worse did not even show up. I have read the book "He's just not that in to you." A boy, all the signs were there. But she could not just forget about the relationship with out having the opportunity to express herself to him. She drove to his apartment and demanded the talk to take place right then and there. At this point my friends feelings shifted from upset to livid do to the fact he did not even care enough to follow through with their plans. This anger allowed her true feelings to just roll off her tongue. As she ranted he could not get a single word in which is what she wanted. There was nothing he could say now. She stopped to take a breath and asked him if he had anything to say. He thought for a min, and then said the dreaded words, "I hope we can still be friends." What? There was no "I'm sorry." Just, we can still be friends.

Ending a relationship with "Lets be friends" has never made any since to me. The person saying it feels they are letting the other down easy. But everyone sees through this. The transition from " I love you" to "hey, buddy ole pal" is not an easy one. Lets be honest, being friends after a breakup does not usually happen, especially not right away. So next time you are thinking about breaking up with someone, and you are tempted to let them down easy, don't. Give them the true honest reason, do not try to make them feel better by dropping the cheesy, over used line "We can still be friends."